Distress, DeStress, and Forgive
by allirequest
Summary: The effects of Aizen's betrayal aren't so easy to ignore, especially for those most directly affected. Kira and Hinamori are anything but okay, but Renji isn't giving up so easily. Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Distress, De-stress, and Forgive

**Prompt:** Distress

**Character(s): **Renji, Kira, Matsumoto

**Word Count: **1,609

**Note:** Bleach and all recognizable characters/plots are not mine; this piece came about as part of a challenge between NewbieGK and I—who could write 10,000 words in one week (or get there first, whichever)? While writing, I decided to work on a piece I started and abandoned—**The Unknown**_**, **_a Kira/Hinamori piece. While writing that, when I hit a wall, I worked on a few prompts from my table, and _voila,_ here I am with this. This is a combination of three prompts into a two chapter fic, so enjoy! This can also be taken as a lead-in to **The Unknown**_**, **_which should be emerging from my vault very soon :)

~*~

After Aizen's betrayal, Abarai Renji had no idea what he was supposed to do. Everything was so messed up… three captains were gone, the rest of the Gotei 13 entirely in disarray, left reeling in the wake of the chaos the betrayal had wrought. Even aside from the disarray in the chain of command, however, the Fourth Division was utterly overwhelmed; the battle had left numerous shinigami wounded, most from fighting against their own in the confusion. One week later, and Kuchiki-taichou was still in the Fourth Division, recovering; Momo wasn't much better off, still unconscious the majority of the time, and Kira was… where _was_ Kira?

"Shit," he muttered, frowning. If Kira wasn't here or visiting Momo, odds were that he was somewhere else, avoiding accusing stares and possibly drinking away his sorrows—and if that was the case, he was more than likely with the sympathetic company of Matsumoto. On the other hand, though, that might be almost as bad for the guy as sitting there moping by himself.

Sure enough, Renji easily found Kira, ensconced happily in the Tenth, along with the giggling Matsumoto. The chilly atmosphere indicated Hitsugaya-taichou's irritation, and Renji wisely avoided passing by the captain's quarters. Peering in the partially opened door, Renji paused, unsure.

Was he supposed to go in? Kira had been his friend for a long time now, but he had no idea how close the other fukutaichou had been to his captain. Ichimaru had always been unnerving, but he and Kira had seemed to get along well enough… Would Kira even want to talk to Renji? Did he want to talk, or just to drink and forget? Renji had never exactly been the soft, sensitive type; that was more Rukia and Momo's forte.

Groaning, Renji entered the room, only to freeze. Somehow, in the last minute he'd lost in thought, Kira had managed to collapse onto his back, sprawled comfortably as Matsumoto shook her fist angrily.

"We'll show that bastard!" She exclaimed, then belatedly turned to Renji. "Oh, hi! Did you come for a drink, too? Hisagi stood us up today!" Full lips pouted, crystalline eyes welling with emotion, and Renji stared. Matsumoto-fukutaichou had a reputation for keeping the strong stuff on hand, but this was ridiculous. Miraculously, Hitsugaya-taichou's warning reiatsu didn't even seem to have an effect on the woman.

"Kira, Matsumoto," Renji said, then paused, considering. "How long have you been here?"

"Just a few minutes," Kira muttered, reaching unhappily for the bottle. His hands were unsteady, though, and he only succeeded in knocking his cup aside. As it rolled across the table, he stared at it, blue-green eyes saddening. "Damn."

"Don't worry, Kira! It'll come back!" Matsumoto predicted optimistically—just as the cup rolled off the edge and shattered on the floor. "Oops."

"Nothing ever comes back," Kira said miserably, staring at the trail of liquid left on the tabletop with something like betrayal. With a small jerk, Renji realized that it _was_—not betrayal at the drink, of course, but betrayal nonetheless. Fuck. Why did he wait so long to seek his friend out? Sure, his captain was out of commission and his Division needed someone to direct them, but… even so, he should obviously have come to look for Kira sooner.

"You need a yo-yo!" Matsumoto giggled, waving a hand cheerfully. "Or, or one of those sticks that comes back…"

"A boomerang?" Renji asked despite himself, and Matsumoto points enthusiastically at him.

"Yes, that!" She said decisively, nodding. She gripped Kira's shoulder tightly, telling him seriously, "That way, you do the throwing, and, and, you throw them, not…"

"Not them throwing me?" Kira asked hopefully, and Matsumoto nodded again, Renji had to hand it to her; even when she was drunk, she managed to make some sort of sense. Then again, this probably wasn't the best way to go about things…

Matsumoto's enthusiasm for her idea, however, had now extended into her knocking her arm into a bottle—sending it falling into the other four empty ones on the table. Sure, they had only been here for a few minutes… the sound of the crashing bottles, however, seemed to be enough to finally spring Hitsugaya-taichou's patience.

"Alright, you two," Renji sighed, reaching down and gripping Kira by the elbow. Pulling the slighter man to his feet, he nodded to Matsumoto. "I'm taking Kira back to his Division… you might want to clean all this up before Hitsugaya-taichou sees it."

"But Renjiiiiiiiiii," Matsumoto whined, even as Renji fled, dragging a confused Kira behind him. As drunk as the woman was, she was having trouble sensing Hitsugaya's approach; he, on the other hand, still had his common sense. Abarai Renji enjoyed his sake as much as the next lieutenant, but even he had his limits, and he didn't want to see the aftermath of _that_ particular afternoon drinking session.

"W-where are we goin'?" Izuru wondered dazedly, and Renji grimaced. How long had it been since the man had been sober? His eyes were quite bloodshot, and dark smears under his eyes proved that he hadn't exactly been sleeping normally, either.

"Goin' to get you some tea," Renji told him, pulling the man toward the third Division. Expertly avoiding the empty captain's quarters, he escorted Kira to his own quarters. Within a few minutes, he managed to get some tea started—though he couldn't guarantee that it would taste any good, because he sure as hell wasn't a tea sort of guy himself—and get Kira settled (or slumped) in the living room.

"Here, drink this," Renji ordered. Kira obediently drank, sighing deeply as the tea calmed him. The man was quiet and lost somewhere in his own mind, but no longer looked like he was quite so out of it. "So, are you okay?"

Subtlety had _never_ been Abarai Renji's thing; thank God that Kira knew that.

"They blame me," Kira uttered after a long moment, and Renji leaned back, folding his arms against his chest.

"You didn't know what they were really doing," Renji replied; even if he didn't know the whole situation, he knew that much at least. There was no possible way that Izuru had known, especially not after seeing how torn up the man was after very nearly hurting Momo and Matsumoto.

That had always been one of Kira's strengths—he was loyal almost to a fault, in a way that made Renji wince at times. The guy was dependable as an ally in a fight, always there and willing to kill for those he believed in, but then again, that same loyalty had pretty much gotten his own ass kicked this time 'round. That loyalty had forced him to draw his blade against one of his oldest friends, as well as another fukutaichou…

"I can't believe I drew a blade against Momo," Kira mumbled, eyes unfocused. "I—"

"Ah, then do something 'bout it," Renji interrupted. Seeing his friend tear himself down like this made him uncomfortable… "Have you even gone to see Momo since this whole thing ended?"

"No," Izuru admitted. "I… I can't. I don't deserve to see her… she was hurt because of _me._ She doesn't ever need to see me again."

"What the hell kinda nonsense is that?" Renji demanded, leaning forward and glaring at the blond man. "Hitsugaya-taichou said it was _Aizen_ that stabbed her, not you. She's gonna be even _more_ upset if she finds out you never even visited her!"

"I led her there!" Kira shot back, voice rising. "She never would have… ugh."

"Shut up already," the other ordered, scowling. "Ichimaru always was a creepy, manipulative bastard, so don't feel sorry for yourself, you idiot."

"Like I didn't _know_ he was creepy?" Izuru snapped, frustrated now that his pleasant buzz was gone. The tea wasn't all that great either, but he took a slow sip nonetheless, trying to calm himself. When he was back under his own control, he continued, more calmly now, "This was all just a _game_ to him—everything has always been just a _game._ You might think I didn't notice that about him, but I did."

"That guy always freaked me out," Renji tossed out, frowning. "Even when we were all in Fifth together, there was just somethin'… off."

"He wasn't much better as a captain," Kira muttered, then winced. Renji noticed, his expression softening uncertainly.

"And that's still not your fault," he replied, a slight edge to his voice. Kira had always had a tendency to blame himself for everything, but this was almost ridiculous. How was he supposed to show the guy that none of this was really his fault?

"Y'know, everyone got screwed here," the redhead pointed out, "But yeah, you 'n Momo got the worst of it. You have to move on, though—this isn't over, between us 'n them."

"I know," Kira replied, something seeming to resolve itself within his deep eyes. "Do you think Momo will ever forgive me? I even got Hitsugaya-taichou hurt…"

"She'll understand," Renji said firmly. Inwardly, he hoped this was true; although he was certain Momo would forgive Izuru for attacking her—she understood loyalty (not just blind adoration) almost as much as Kira did—but then again, she was protective of her 'Hitsugaya-kun,' too…

Then again, the knowledge that her beloved captain had attacked Hitsugaya might be almost as damaging as her own betrayal at Aizen's hands.

Renji swallowed, uncertain, but pushed it away. Instead, he rose, yanking Kira up after him.

"Come on," he ordered, though the friendly smirk on his lips was enough to allow Kira to relax. "Let's go. We're going to go visit Momo."

~*~

**Side Note:** Chapter two will be up soon! Drop a line, and let me know what you think--I love knowing what I'm doing right or wrong...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Prompt:**Visit, Blame

**Characters: Renji, Izuru, Momo, Rukia**

**Word Count: **2,504

**Note:** Combining two prompts into one, because this just fit with both, and there really wasn't a good stopping point to separate them… Meh. Hints at Renji/Rukia a bit, and a hint of Kira/Hinamori as well; can be taken as a lead-in to **The Unknown.**

~*~

If there was one thing to be said about the Fourth Division, it was that the halls were always quiet and orderly, but in a peaceful, helpful way. Sure, the halls of the Second Division were always quiet, too, but there was always a palpable tenseness in the air, emanating from the very walls as Stealth Force members hurried about their business. The Sixth Division was another quiet place, but the fact that Kuchiki-taichou was intimidating and so stiff had a lot to do with that. By comparison, the Eleventh Division was downright chaotic…

As it was, however, the soothing calmness of the Fourth Division was starting to drive Hinamori Momo crazy. She missed the comfortable, familiar sounds of the Fifth Division—even though she didn't know whether or not that had changed recently.

Instead, she was stuck in the quiet Fourth, where she was… isolated. The wound through her torso may have healed, leaving her stiff and sore, but the wounds to her heart and soul were a little deeper. Slowly but surely, however, things were beginning to solidify around her, shifting from a horrible, hazy nightmare into cold, grim reality, and the professional quietness of her surroundings only made it worse. It had been a hectic few days, however, and the fact that everyone that entered her room eyed her so sympathetically made her feel even lonelier than before.

In the last week, she had been unconscious for the most part. She had only woken for the first time two days ago; after being checked over by Unohana-taichou and Kotetsu-fukutaichou. The fact that she had been directly checked over by both the captain and lieutenant of the Fourth was both worrisome and reassuring at the same time—sending her emotions and confusion into a deeper turmoil as she rested and continued to heal. Furthermore, she had been questioned by Soifon-taichou and Yamamoto-Sōtaichou… revealing that the events she had witnessed had gone even farther than she had thought. Once she had been cleared of suspicion, she was allowed only a few visitors each day.

So far, Hinamori had been visited by primarily Fourth Division members, and a few of her own Division. The conversations were awkward and stilted, only grounding the horrible reality she had woken up to.

Aizen-taichou was a traitor to Soul Society, harming Kuchiki Rukia (and countless others in the process) before fleeing for Hueco Mundo… after running Momo through and leaving her to die.

She still had a hard time believing it was true—Aizen-taichou would never betray anyone! He was the kindest, warmest captain of them all, and she was so lucky to have him as her captain… Ichimaru Gin had always been unnerving, and Tōsen Kaname was distant, so maybe they had tricked… ?

_No._ She had to stop thinking like that… she had to listen to the others. Aizen wasn't coming back, and this wasn't some mistake, as much as she wanted it to be; there was no waking up from this nightmare. Momo desperately wanted to wake up, but this was her new reality, and there wasn't much to do aside from try to accept it…

No matter how much she disbelieved it all.

~*~

It was a welcome distraction when there was a gentle knock at her door sometime later. Hinamori had been drifting in and out of sleep for a couple of hours, struggling to stay awake. Sleeping provided a buffer against the intrusion of reality (however temporary it might have been), as well as allowing her tired body a chance to continue healing from the traumatic wound she had sustained. On the other hand, however, sleeping that much disoriented her, and she disliked being that confused all the time.

"Come in," she called softly, shifting as she belatedly recognized the reiatsu signatures outside the door. A soft smile lit her features, even as something shifted guiltily within her. Abarai-kun and Kira-kun… did they think differently of her now? Would they look at her with nothing but pity and vague suspicions?

The door opened before she could lose herself in her own doubts, however, admitting Renji and Izuru—both with relieved expressions, and pity nowhere in sight. At that, her own brown eyes truly softened, her smile becoming more sincere and relaxed.

"Renji! Izuru!" She greeted. "Are you guys alright? I know you were hurt…"

"We're fine," Renji replied, shrugging it off dismissively. "I take it you're doing well—every time I've been by before, you've still been sound asleep!"

"Well that's not my fault," Momo protested, falling easily into the banter that Renji seemed to bring about so casually. "The medicine they gave me was really heavy, so it's not my fault I was so sleepy!"

"Yeah, yeah," Renji teased, smirking. "Everyone else has been up for _ever_, you know."

Momo's indignant response leaves her pouting furiously, even as Izuru laughs quietly to the side; it was almost the same at the days back in the Academy, when things were so much simpler.

"How about you, Izuru?" Momo asked, finally managing to calm down. His smile faded at the question, however, and she flinched when she noticed how he avoided meeting her eyes.

"I'm fine," he replied, blue-green eyes heavy and dark. "I've been… fine."

"Fine and drunk," Renji pointed out helpfully, earning a glare from Kira as a result. Momo frowned slightly, confused, even as Renji finished, "He's been spending almost all his time with Matsumoto over in the Tenth."

"With Rangiku-san?" Momo asked, puzzled. "Why not just go… out… oh."

_Oh._ She hadn't thought about it that way… if she was still regarded suspiciously and pitiably, of course Kira-kun and perhaps even Hisagi-sempai were getting the same treatment. Their captains had betrayed them as well, and maybe going out and drinking wasn't the best idea, with others getting drunk and losing their inhibitions… suddenly, it made more sense.

Silence fell, heavy and slightly uncomfortable. Renji scowled at the feeling, grabbing a chair from along the wall and dragging it harshly across the floor. Swinging it around, he slumped into it casually, missing Momo's grateful glance.

"So, how long are they keepin' you here for?" He asked, watching as Izuru much more gently pulled out his own seat.

"I don't know," she answered, frowning at her hands in her lap. "I guess they're waiting to see how long it takes me to heal."

It was impossible for her sharp brown eyes to miss the flinch from Kira at her words, and Momo tensed despite herself. She hadn't even really thought about it… Izuru must have felt really horrible, because she was in the hospital wing, and he hadn't even really been hurt. But it wasn't his fault, because he hadn't been… attacked by his own captain. Momo frowned again, then glanced up.

"Izuru?" She asked quietly, and he looked up quickly. She looked at him, really _looked_ at him for a long moment; she hadn't noticed how pale and drawn his face was, or just how dark those circles were underneath his eyes… he looked _horrible_, and even more withdrawn than she had expected. "Are you sure you're okay? I mean—"

"Of course I'm okay," he replied softly, the hint of a sick smile twisting his lips. "Please, don't worry about me, I just… I just need some time."

"Okay…" Momo said slowly, unexpectedly stung. Izuru had always been the quietest one in their group, but he had never had a problem in talking to her before. He'd always been the one she went to when she needed to talk about a problem. Renji's strength stemmed from his ability to cheer someone up with laughter, or a good old-fashioned fight, whichever seemed best to him at the moment. He was adept with knowing what to do, though admittedly he was blockheaded and prone to missing subtleties, as Kuchiki Rukia pointed out once. Izuru, on the other hand, was a very good listener, his advice sound and well thought out; he and Momo enjoyed time together often to sit and chat, while Renji was out pushing through his own path and carefully avoiding flirting with Rukia.

Renji's blunt demeanor, however, appeared once more, apparently determined for some reason or another. He heaved a sigh, earning a confused look from Momo as he scowled.

"What Kira's tryin' to say is, he feels bad, but he ain't hurt," he said bluntly. Momo paused to digest this and think, even as Izuru shot Renji a dismayed look, then a glare.

"Abarai, don't," he ordered, even as Momo's mind clicked through the pieces. The constant tiredness from her medications seemed to have disappeared for the moment, and she studied Izuru as he pinned Renji with an angry glance. "Stop."

"No," Renji replied, refusing to back down. "Talk, damn it. I didn't drag you here for you to just—damn."

Renji seemed to realize what he had inadvertently admitted just as it slipped through his mouth. Momo's mouth opened slightly as she stared at Izuru, feeling as if she had been struck. Kira… hadn't wanted to come see her? Renji had had to practically drag him?

Was he that disgusted with her, for what had happened? Did he blame her for everything?

"K-Kira-kun?" She asked, voice tight with hurt. "You didn't want to come see me?"

"Momo, _no!"_ Izuru stammered, his own eyes wide as he leaned forward. Warmth enveloped her hand as he gripped it almost desperately, not seeming to notice what he was doing. "I-It's not because of you—I just… I thought you wouldn't want to see me, because… it's my fault you were hurt."

The world seemed to stop for a moment as he addressed the issue they had all avoided thus far. At his words, Momo's chest flared with a sharp pang; she wasn't quite sure if it was because of her healing wound or from the sight of Kira's absolute guilt and hurt.

"Why?" Momo asked, then hurried to correct herself at his sharp inhalation. "I mean… it's not… it wasn't _you_, Kira-kun; why are you blaming yourself?"

"See?" Renji added quietly, voice deadly serious for a moment. "I told you she never blamed you."

"Hinamori-kun, I did what Ichimaru asked, and he… he _promised_ me you wouldn't be hurt," Kira said miserably, not seeming to hear either of them. "I led Hitsugaya-taichou away, leaving you alone with Ichimaru…"

"He was… going to take me to Aizen," Momo murmured, and Renji frowned unhappily. He didn't have to reach out, however, as Hinamori seemed to keep herself in check. "But Kira-kun, that's not your fault…"

"He was your captain," Renji muttered, voice rough. "You had to do as he asked…"

"I had every right to question him," Izuru ground out, frustrated. "Subordinates have every right to question their captain when they act suspiciously, and when he led me to Central 46, I just… followed. I drew my blade against you before, and then I led you into a trap!"

"I-Izuru," Momo whispered, close to tears. Her knuckles were white now, hands clenched tightly in her lap as she fought to keep from crying. She had done quite enough of that in the past few days, but this wasn't helping. She had had no idea that Izuru was blaming himself this much, that he felt this horrible about himself, all because of her. "Please, don't…"

"Don't?" He repeated, still refusing to meet her eyes. "I know. I know you don't want to see me—"

He rose before he could finish his sentence, and Momo froze, throat closing tightly around the words in her throat. Izuru blamed himself this much, that he would just walk away from her, and never see her again? Ignoring the fact that they were both lieutenants, he was one of her closest friends, and the very idea of never seeing him again or being able to spend time with him had her paralyzed. Izuru was turning away, and she was unable to get the words out, horrified at her own weakness as tears spilled over her cheeks recklessly—

And Momo thanked the very heavens that Renji was there.

"No, you idiot," he growled, gripping the back of Kira's uniform before he could leave. "She wants you to stay, or are you so caught up in bein' guilty you went blind?"

Both Momo and Izuru gasped at his words, the tense hurt that had gathered in the air shattering easily. Renji snorted, looking vaguely amused for a split second.

"Honestly, pay attention and let her finish talking before you run away," he reprimanded Kira, then turned to Momo. "He hasn't been this bad since the Academy, remember?"

And just like that, Momo could breathe again.

"Y-yeah," she said shakily, managing to summon a faint smile after a moment. Renji relaxed slightly, and she glanced at his gratefully. She was so lucky to have such great friends… wait until she told Aizen-taichou…

Her smile flickered away uncertainly, leaving Kira to look up apologetically.

"Sorry, Momo," he murmured, looking faintly sheepish.

"It's fine, Izuru," she managed, then found another ghost of a smile, this one stronger. "Just remember to listen, okay? I don't blame you at all!"

"Told you," Renji muttered, then stretched his arms over his head. "Now—now what?"

He was cut off by another knock on the door, and Momo looked up, confused. Who else would come and visit? Hitsugaya-kun was still in recovery as well, and Unohana-taichou had said they could arrange a visit tomorrow if she was awake…

"Come in!" She called, and grinned once the door opened. "Kuchiki-san!"

"Hey, Hinamori-fukutaichou," Rukia greeted, smiling softly. "I heard you were awake, and wanted to visit."

"Huh, well we heard before you did, then," Renji told her frankly. Momo smiled, seeing Rukia's hackles go up almost immediately in response. It had been a long time since she had been able to spend time with Rukia, because the other girl had been in the Human World on assignment for a while. She and Rukia got along well, despite having been in separate sections in the Academy; it was refreshing to meet a female year-mate as skilled in kidō as she was.

"So? It wasn't like I was trying to beat you here," Rukia shot back, shoving past Renji to steal his seat. "So how are you doing?"

"I'm well, Rukia, and you?" Momo asked, smiling. Renji was scowling at the loss of his chair, and Izuru looked amused as well, a real smile making its way back onto his face.

"I'm good, too," Rukia replied. "It's going to be a while before I'm back to myself, but… we'll get there."

Renji nodded slightly to the side, even as Momo changed the subject. They all had some healing to do, in various ways, but… eventually, things would work out. Until then, he was going to keep an eye on Hinamori; she had been attached enough to Aizen to worry him, but… everything would work out, eventually. It had to.

~*~

**Side-Note:** Hmm, yes, it might seem as if perhaps Hinamori has come to her senses about Aizen's betrayal, but… no. There are more issues lurking underneath the surface, as we've seen in the manga, and they aren't going to just disappear. Right now, she's in the detachment phase of denial, where she just doesn't want to think about it. Does that make any sense?


End file.
